My son, Alexander, came to me the other day with an urgent matter on his mind. He asked me to sit beside him on the couch and then he explained that, “I should get a Star Wars video game for Christmas because that will make me happy.”
A four-year-old can never plan too early for Christmas.
I have to admit, there are times when I think the best I can do as a parent is to keep my kids from losing teeth at the playground. But here was a teachable moment! My son was already succumbing to the myth that material possessions bring happiness and I could help him!
It happens to all of us. The feeling we get when we buy that new toy; be it a computer, a car, or…a toy. There’s novelty, excitement, dare I say it: Happiness! It lasts for a few weeks and the happy feeling wears off (providing you don’t go and buy something else new). You either get used to it or you see someone with something better and your stuff doesn’t seem as nice anymore.
Some people measure their success by their possessions, and if you know any, ask yourself if they’re happy or if they’re struggling to keep up with the Joneses.
Most of us define ourselves by our experiences. People feel the most alive and in the moment when we are trying something new. We’re also more likely to bring others along with us which also helps our mood. I travel. I conquered a fear of heights by skydiving. I invite friends over for dinner each week. I write. I sing. I dance. I learned something new. I volunteer…
Or, I watched tv last night. I played a new video game.
Alexander was skeptical that experiences can provide more lasting happiness than toys and he provided counter-examples of times when new toys made him happy. I asked him if those same toys still made him as happy. He was shaken, but remained undaunted in his stance on Christmas gifts.
I told him that science backs me up on this.
That got him. Apparently he trusts peer-reviewed research more than his cheap father.
I don’t think he was completely convinced, but I knew this lesson would take some time to learn. Some people never learn. This was just a first step in his young life.
He hopped off the couch and wrapped up the conversation with, “I’d like some experiences, but I don’t want Santa to bring me any for Christmas.”
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